I remember dealing with so many emotions wanting so badly to find an answer (as men love to do) to what felt like a loss of some kind in our family. But I realized I couldn't fix this like other things. I felt helpless and numb for a short time.
Meanwhile, my wife is looking at me thinking "why isn't he attaching himself to Connor like I am?" I'm thinking, "I just want to connect with my son like we use to." The enemy loves to come in at crucial times like these to separate what God put together. The enemy wants to pull us apart becuase he knows WE'RE STRONGER TOGETHER. We don't want conflict when we're hurting. We avoid it like we avoid eye contact with the mineral cream salesperson at the mall kiosk before they ask, "Can I ask you something?" We try our best to avoid it, but it doesn't always work out.
Yet, God in His grace and gentleness spoke into our lives at pivotal times through our devotional time, prayer walks, long talks, and some amazing counsel we received. We realized that we don't have to have it all figured out, but God will give us just what we need when we need it. We can't worry about what's ahead because we don't have grace for two years from now, we have grace for today. I've heard it said that sometimes we find our destiny on the road we took to avoid it. As long as we don't back up but keep moving forward God will show us our destiny. Matthew 18:19 says, I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. It's been almost 8 years later since the gianosis. Now Connor is both of our causes. We get hugs, kisses, and lots of "I love you." I encourage you to stay in agreement, trust God, we will beat the odds because WE'RE STRONGER TOGETHER than we are apart.